February…The month of love, but how aware are you of loving yourself first, this is the secret to your love happiness.
“You demonstrate love by giving it unconditionally to yourself, and as you do, you attract others into your life who are able to love you without conditions” Paul Ferrini.
When we are in a relationship, and we love, some of us lose our way, by being so afraid of losing the one we love, and maybe that person does not care if they lose you, this is why loving yourself is so important. When we love with fear we withdraw from life, maybe if you stop to think about this, you may see a pattern in your life now or previously, congratulations if you don’t see it at all !! the upper side to this, is that when we are in love freely, as if by magic, we open up to the world and all the opportunities it has to offer.
“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance” Oscar Wilde
You have to stop thinking of what you don’t like about yourself and start to see all the good things, the wonderful side of you, your talents, your beauty inside and out, you see, without your flaws you are then not you ? when people choose to start to change everything, deep down you are no longer you, learn to love yourself truly first, when we need to forgive others, it is a reflection of loving yourself enough to move on. It is not selfish to love yourself, you need to look after yourself,your health, your everyday welfare, it is a priority in your life indeed neccessary, when you care for yourself, others will treat you in the same way, just because you have someone in your life who love’s you does not relieve you of your duty to yourself.,you deserve the kind of love you would give to someone else.
Enjoy your life, laugh more, have fun, share your fun and laughter, your knowledge and activities, travel more if possible, become worldly and interesting, get out there and meet people, stop thinking what others may be thinking, be generous with yourself resolve any emotional issues you may be holding onto, nobody needs to be drama queens or kings!! be mature and sophiscated about life in general and above have confidence in you, the person you love. When you have cleared all your inner enemies, the outside enemy cannot hurt you. Don’t ever be afraid to Love, so, if you have not found the Love of your life yet……What are you waiting for ? (Let me know )
Even today, in the year 2016, is a woman given the same consideration as her male counterpart, is she always expected to do more, perform better in her job, and is always under the spotlight, just waiting for the light to shine on a small mistake ?
Do they still feel bad, even when everyone tells her how fantastic she looks and is, do they still feel guilty for not being enough time with their children, do people see that when their working professional day is over, they simple move on to their working family night, this could include, food shopping, collecting children, a school meeting, then meals at home, bathing children, story time and then bed time for the children, and it is not over yet, they have a home to take care of, washing and maybe ironing that is shouting at her from a basket somewhere, and this list can go on and on ! so who demands the most of her, herself for wanting to fill every role ? And you know the best of it all, she does it, she takes it all in her stride and she can accomplish all these things, so who is the stronger sex ? But, who is her worst enemy ? (please dont miss understand me here, I know that there are many men out there, who do this as well, and others that take on alot of house roles to help the working women) and again in some of these cases, she will be told “how lucky they are to have such a good partner” do men hear how lucky they are to have a woman like they have by there side !! They may be told this, but not for what she has accomplished, but maybe more for how she looks, So you see in a way the female always tends to get the short straw, so have things really changed ? And do women want them to? Women are experts at spinning plates, they have the capacity to do more than one thing at once, and do them well.
When a woman demands so much from herself, she can fall into the trap of not seeing her limits, and this in turn will bring stress, if as a working woman, you have the opportunity of help from your partner,or help in general, take it, you are not giving away your power or showing a weakness, think of it in a different way, in a professional atmosphere and the work pile was growing you would choose to employ another person, to lift your work load with the employment of another (help), you would feel comfortable with this decision so why would you feel different if it is concerning you, your family surroundings and most important your well being. When you look at it this way it is simple, it is just a question of mind set towards this situation. Mind set is important in everything we do, to make a change in our life, the mind has to accept the change first.
Never forget we are all super heros……..but…….it is always better to be a calm collected super hero than a stressed super hero……..
Finding the balance between your desire of freedom and our affect dependance is a difficult task, Can we love without feeling trapped, should we feel fear about loving to much ? and is it usual or a habit that we feel that fear when phrases like “you are everything to me” or “I could’nt live without you” does this show that a dependance on that person is showing in your love life. There are types of love that burn, torture ,and can be destructive, the fascination of your partner that hides a necessite and a sensacion of no air when they are not together, this can take you to a depression,that is only liveable when the presence of the other is around, when this happens it converts the partner into a drug,they are needed to make the other tranquil and calm.When this happens you have to look back to infant years,when this happens you have to look for professional help to unravel the problem, it usually comes from a parent in the situation of divorce, they feel they have been left behind and not loved, therefore when they have a relationship later on in life as adults, they may reverse back to their childhood and the methods they used then, this will cause great pressure between a couple and very suffocating to be in that situation. It takes time to resolve these issues, they have control issues and this is why they need to be constantly with the other person, they live in fear of being left alone again, so, the big question here is, Is this love, or is it love to someone who needs to fill a tremendous emptiness they feel , and do they realise the difference between these two types of love. This kind of relationship can only work when the part of the couple stop living in the past and realise that their partner, has never left them and maybe will not, if it is love,and, unconditional love is allowed to surface. Love cannot survive under fear, or on past relationships, Love should be shared in the present not past or even future. Live for today, be happy and love from the heart
You, look into the mirror and find something you are not happy with, you automatically compare yourself with another person, your nose, your hair, your mouth and we begin to make our life hell, it becomes an obsession ! Analise yourself a little here and think how you feel, don’t make a complex make you feel inferior and ruin your everyday life.
What is a complex…It is an idea and feelings that we feel about ourselves and then feel about it in a negative way, we magnify it and it can actually make a change in our personality, in fact in the end you believe this complex is really there and you are not even conscious that it is not. The only way to get over this is to recognise this and look it straight in the eye it is essential if you wish to be happy with yourself.
Many complex’s are formed in our infant years, and very often by the way the parents atitude and behaviour is showed to their children, if a child is told at a young age , that they are inconstant, unaware of everything and slow, this child will grow believing this and will accept it as part of their character. Teenages are also very open to this, and it can stay with them for many years and in somecase’s all their life, especially if they are compared with top models and people of the moment, through tv or magazines, many do not realise or are not aware that this is not how they really are, they also get out of bed feeling tired and drained not how they look on a magazine
HOW TO GET THE BETTER OF IT…..Many are not fully conscious of their complex/obsession because they feel ugly, small, fat or whatever they have convinced themselves of, they cannot get this out of their minds, and don’t see how it shows in their behaviour and everyday situations. Therefore it is important to have a mental change, to really look inside and to see how it is an influence in their life and what value they would give it. The first thing to do is to let them see the defect (they think) and for them to see what is happening and that they should never compare themselves to anyone. You can find help from a professional, which does not have to be medication, they need to face reality and to see things from a different prospective, a complex can be overcome when you start to feel good with yourself and to remember that the beauty in a person is not on the outside but on the inside.When you feel comfortable in your own skin and confident within yourself, you may find a charisma that is totally irresistable and therefore considered a very attractive person.
This is the basic guide to the “Law of Attraction” available from Amazon B0147FX9Y2 if you are a beginner or have a interest in the Law of Attraction, you may find this a good starting point. Adding this to the information given to you here on the blog you will be on your way to contolling your life and to be aware of your opportunities as they come along. 
Today is Sunday, and for many that will be a family day, and for some it may not be possible to be with your family, however if we hold them in our heart and feel alot of love for them, it will bring them a little closer to us, and they will recieve your thoughts and love, and you will feel the love because you have them in your thoughts.
Sunday is said to be a day of rest, and I hope that is what you are doing today, even though you may have your family for lunch (and maybe work more than any other day of the week) but, we all love to do it, and the work is not given a second thought, to see our family and loved one’s together sharing the same table, fills us with joy and love.
If you are working out of your home today, take a second to think of your family and everything you have to be grateful for, even if it is the job you are doing on this day, we have so much to be grateful for, our family mean everything to us, even in the troublesome times, you still love them and they are in your heart always.
Whatever, you may be doing today, have a happy Sunday and enjoy your day………………Monday is just around the corner.
Even if we try to avoid stress, it really is not possible, we listen to the news, the radio and we probaly read the press, and of course we see everything on the internet, and there it is, depressing news, it can be regarding the economy, less jobs, a dreadful crime, people struggling in different areas of life , the hungry, the homeless and of course war a very big concern all over the world, are any of us safe… On top of all this you have your own personal levels of stress,you could right now be going through, a job you dislike, a bad relationship, unpaid bills,deadlines,income/expenses we all have something and we all handle our stress in various ways. The one thing you must never do is ignore it, if it is present in your everyday life. It is now a known fact that stress is a big player in the growth of cancerous tumors and in the major cause of heart disease, it closes your immune system down, making you a great target for any disease.
Stress can destroy your life, you see a big percentage of stress is at origin, when we have the wrong beliefs we create stress, our nervous system goes into fight and flight.”Stress does not come from outsource causes”, when you believe you have fear,that you live under a threat etc., the stress comes out and takes over you and your life and starts breaking down your body slowly but for sure, your brain does not function the same, but you can heal yourself, at a cellular level, when you change your belief pattern, you can strengthen your immune system a change in your thoughts from destructive signals to healthy signals can make a big difference, your immune system starts to pick up again.
When you give yourself attention, as little as 10 mins a day can make a change in you, you can shake of the real cause of stress, (YOU) you can do it anytime, anywhere, you have the power to neutralize your everyday stress, give your self a new burst of energy and wellbeing, you will then function more effectively during your day, see the good things in life, sleep better at night, enjoy better health and distance yourself from stress induced diseases, you know that they say disease is a body in dis-ease… when you start to think in a better way, you are helping all your frequencies,you raise your frequecy on all levels, unhealthy to healthy frequency etc., this will relieve your stress levels and you will start to improve by the day, you all know that the thoughts and feelings we have is what we recieve back, and stress is exactly the same, don’t diminish yourself, keep a positive mind, it is the answer to all, spend 10 mins, calm, deep breaths and let it all go, the more you worry, the more worry you will get, this is not telling you to become unaware of everything in your life, all problems have a solution, and when we are calm, without fear and stress, the answer is easier to be found. When we suffer with stress, we really do not see things as they are, we are confused and do not see the way out, we just get deeper and deeper into a place of no return, however if we give ourselves, what we deserve at least 10 mins to unwind, relax, breath and release the tension, you will start to see things differently and practical solutions will come to you. A confused stressed mind can only ever give you confused stressed solutions.
To understand personal relationships, which is necessary to help us in all areas of our life, you have to see that we actually collect information all our life, but, do we use it? to help to guide us in the way we think and with our behaviour.
Emotional Intelligence is without any doubt the part of our life that we should encourage and develope and use wisely. To know how to listen and understand the emotions of others and to control our own, know how to communicate and create mutual respect where we all gain tremendously, it is necessary to avoid more than one problem in our life. If our parents had been educated in Emotional Intelligence, it would of formed part of their life and ours, we would be better mentally than we are, all arguments, problems with our friends, colleagues, neighbours, at school, big sighs over exam results and arriving home late!! and many more things, all of this would of been viewed as different, with ways of thinking and things would have been respected, converting this into a new learning curve, but nobody told us or them about it.(some of us have been lucky, and had emotional intelligence always in our life )
It should be included in our life, and should be part of the educational system, from a young age, as a basic ability and necessary to be able to relate with those around us, to know and better know how to have control over our expressions, feelings, emotions to know your own limits and those of others. I actually was asked to speak at a Junior school some 9 years ago regarding this subject, it was a pleasant surprise and should be done much more, it is not a normal exercise and would be very beneficial if it was.
Some people feel that a high IQ makes you more intelligent,or hold a better job, or are more successfull, true intelligence is one associated with happiness, our well being, the one that makes us proud of who we are and what we have, whether its alot or not, and that gives us good mental health to reach what we want and enjoy your journey on the road of your choice.
Know yourself well – dedicate at least five mins a day to analise how you feel and if you have done anything during your day that takes you nearer to your goal, did you take any action ? or you could take a personal development course where you will get to know yourself well, don’t forget that your final goals should be coherent to your values. Think of your emotions, place them on a set of scales, you have to find the balancing point, to be angry or grumpy or over the top happy, both can swing your scales, balance is the secret.
When you are about to explode, take a deep breath, visualise a beautiful beach and the waves rippling on the shore, take this time to slowly breath in and exhale,when you feel calmer start to think, reason and analise your situation, when you have regulated yourself, make your decision, this space will give you a calmness needed to make or take your decisions.
Only you have control over yourself, dont let anyone sabotage you, work on your interior well being and balance, YOU are going to be just great !!!
theutopiauniverse 