Do you really honestly think before you make a statement or whisper a word ? I would imagine the answer to that as being a big NO from the majority, you see , most of us just blah blah on an automatic basis, unless we are preparing a speech or an interview of some kind, the rest of the time we are generally doing what is known as chit-chat, and it is in those moments when we do not think, it is when we are most likely to say something terrible that could truly hurt someone else, you see when we gossip the damage we do is really unforgivable and can cause a rather earth shattering consequence for another person, we can also cause the chinese whisper effect, which is where each person who repeats the story, adds a little more drama or dirt as they say……. what many do not realise is that gossip or just talk for talk for the sake of it, can destroy the person they are firing at, is this through jealousy, envy or just plain evil, they are attacking the honour of that other person .
The sad part of this, is the maybe reason behind it, some people cannot help themselves to gossip or just always be negative towards others, jealousy is a terrible thing which we can deal with under another blog, once the honour of a person has been destroyed to such an extent, it can at times be impossible to fix. Because once the anger of the person who has inflicted the pain has calmed down, the gossip and the rumours have not. We sometimes find this between couples, their relationship goes wrong and things are said, which should never even been a thought, the damage caused to a couple through a bad relationship can affect them for the rest of their life, and particularly if there are children, they should always be given the first consideration, many of them are far to young to express themselves and share the pain and hurt they may be feeling, a little thought for them should be top priority for a parent, no one should suffer from this kind of verbal abuse, but, a child should always be considered. Words hold tremendous power and can stay in the memory forever, they may at times be forgiven but not forgotten.
When you gossip or attempt to spread rumours about someone, this will cause harm, which at times, is the prime objective of the exercise, which is a cruel thing to do, it is so important that we think before we speak, to have no control, no filters over what we say is not a good quality to have, it is always worth those few seconds it takes, to think again to find the correct way to express yourself, because when you just say the first thing that comes into your head you are attacking and taking away that other persons dignity, honor reputation and credibility which can be impossible to restore, if you give it enough thought you can visualise that you slip on the walkway, but you have managed to maintain your balance, when you have a slip of the tongue you cannot, the words are out and leaping around doing an extent of damage that you probably never intended to be, once you have calmed down again, you will see things in a different way, so try, try very hard to think before you say the first thing that pops into your head, think would I like to hear this coming at me, if the answer is no, stop yourself take a breath and then speak.
I am aware that this is not an easy thing to do, but, with a little practise it is like anything else, it is far better to be remembered by the sensible things you have to say as opposed to cruel words to simply dishonor some one else.
Brooke Universal Life Coach