We all complain, in fact we could maybe call it a National Sport, regardless of where we live. And we have a right to complain, to complain can be a way for us to express pain or annoyance over something and at times it can be beneficial to us. However when this complaining becomes a habit and forms part of our everyday life, we have to step back and ask ” what is wrong” this could just be a way for us to hide our head in the sand ! instead of confronting the problem that is worrying us, complaining stops us from taking action and resolving what is really happening.
If you complain all the time, its time to ACT., When you complain 24/7 you will be in a group that sees the problem less than everyone else, however people who never complain could be the ones that encourages more the complaining, so we have to be brave and find out the real why, one way is to take note of how, when explaining the situation (complaint) how they or we focus more on the negative aspects, do they or we take responsibility for the situation ? Do they or we tend to blame others for the situation that we are involved in and we complain about that ? When we acknowledge this behaviour, we can then step into the action of putting it right.
A good way to make a change regarding this , is to revitalize a little what we are complaining about. A good sentence to throw in would be ” Maybe it not so bad” every time we start to complain again,, our favourite subjects can at times be about our partners in life, so when you find yourself saying ” No, he/she does not love me as much, because I don’t agree with…but, maybe it’s not so much ” by incorporating this little extra, we are dis -activating the whole heavy complaint, and making it easier for the negative pattern to disappear easier and faster.
Question and ask, another way to change this pattern evolves around four questions:- Is it true? Can you be absolutely sure it is true?(yes/no) How do you re-act when you think about this and what are you thinking…How will you be without this thought? Who and what are you without this thought? If you do this not only in thought but with the complaint, which in reality is thinking also, we may see and realise that we do not hold ourselves responsible of the complaint or the situation.
You will know that there are people who prefer to complain instead of making a change in their behaviour, when we don’t take responsibility for what is happening, we block ourselves and lose control of our life, giving power to other and our surroundings. We need to be brave and step up without fear to take responsibility for what we can change, and not accept that we can’t change anything. Complaining takes away our energy, and leaves us tired as we stay in this vicious circle without hope of getting out. It leaves us with a sad emotion which makes it difficult to take action , the way out is to pay the price, make a change and put ourselves into action to make a permanent change.
“Live in a no complaining zone, just try it and see the difference it can make in your life”