We all know a bully or two i’m sure, even if you go back to your school years or even in the young one’s we have around us today, maybe what we don’t do when we label these little individuals is the WHY, nobody is born a bully, so what brings this behaviour to the surface, there are three main reasons why this happens,
DISCOURAGEMENT – they are calling out for what they are missing, they need encouragement to be understood,they look for constant approval and acknowledgement of who they are and that they are there,they feel that they have been left out along the way somehow they have a feeling of lack of control,due to this they become domineering and argumentative to other children and adults who have contact with them,they can be two different people loving when they want to be and the agressive side at others.A bully does not come from a dysfunctional family, a bully can come from a loving family,however they can feel more like a trophy than a family member,children need to have routines and boundries, when children are allowed a complete free for all,they can lose their way,they need normal discipline as they grow, for some entering into school can be a big shock where there behaviour is monitored on a different level,routines are important in the life of a child,we live in a fast society today and children feel this, there daily well being should be constant in the home where they are loved and cared for,most parents today work and there is nothing wrong with that and parents should not feel guilty about it, children pick that emotion up very quickly and can play on it,children learn from what they see and hear,if a child needs to be corrected about something, it should be the same if a parent has worked two hours or twenty, the same when they wait for their story time or cuddle time,to be constant in every aspect of their life is very important.
FRUSTRATION – is also a big factor in a bully, frustration is what feeds the aggresive and violence to others around them, when they are continuously in a fast and stressed modern world as mentioned above regarding the working parent,again working is not the problem,it is a very important factor in the well fare of the family, when a child has frustration it is very important that the adult gives assistance and explains the situation and continues to be constant,other wise the child will be more likely to behaviourable problems both within the family and socially
EMOTIONAL DISCONNECTION- when a child is disconnected they are generally very defiant,selfish,rude and nasty to others around them, when a child is connected they are generous,kind and respectful little beings.Disconnection is the worst element to a bully, they will be more aggressive and hurtful.Children need to be well balanced the same as adults,but they do need our help,we need to be constant with them no matter what your circumstances may be,no hand book is given when we choose to be parents,and it is not an easy job, but nothing is,always looking for a quiet life and avoiding situations can at times be harmful to our children,with this I am not saying it is your fault should you have a situation with a bully but you can help or accquire the help of a qualified person.This is a situation that can be corrected and a happy life can be had by all.
Brooke Universal Life Coach