I have had a recent email regarding the love one feels for another, my reader asks the question…” I think a big mistake people make is thinking that their partner loves them ” I really did have to think for the correct answer for a while, after reading a few times the email and deeper thought, I think most partners do ?
Don’t miss understand I think most couples are very happy and in love…. but others will be and can be just very attached and fond of each other, you will understand each other by looks and not always words, and when you come together they are generally happy to be together, kind and genuinely feel good when you are together. When you are apart for a while the reaction can be good or even sulky because you have taken to long to return, and the things you do for that person is what they really miss, i.e. cooking, cleaning generally taking care of everything, this does not equal love. I would define love in this situation as a willingness to put someone else’s interests in front of your own, is your partner capable of this ? Do they argue with you on a regular basis (never seriously and always unintentionally ) this is mainly due to them being focused on self-preservation, and then when a push comes to a shove , they play the line of “everyone’s out to get me” (the victim) and then they seek you out, sheepishly stroll over apologise with I’m sorry eyes, and look genuinely sorry, but doubt they felt that in the heat of the moment their concern was not on you. Or are you treated a little like the servant, a faithful servant, treated with affection but that’s as far as it goe’s. So, what do you think ? Is your partner capable of love, or do you fit this role ? this is how you tell, couples tend to step into complicity,they become accustomed to how things are, but that does not mean love, love can go on for years and years, your whole life time, but, you have to work at it, give and take, consider and be considered, couples who have unwritten rules, truly understand each other, everyday is the first day of your life, your lives together, so enjoy it, you deserve to be treated well, to be respected,to be considered this is a life time job, just because you are hitched does not mean that the above things don’t matter anymore, they do, they make up your happiness on a daily basis and that is what your home life should be, little bumps on the road can be worked out, but climbing Everest everyday is not fun …………..So are you capable of LOVE ?
Brooke Universal Life Coach