When we try to make a child’s interior strong, we are giving them ways to face life now and in the future, the key to the success of this is love and respect but also rules and limits. Everyday growing children face new situations which they have to resolve without experience. If we look back ourselves, and think about classroom situations, admitting to breaking something or maybe jealousy of friends, etc., they where the problem’s that we felt we were lost and misunderstood when we remember these moments we realize the importance of understanding and love, but also if we have all the things we want on the terms we wanted then we were denied the right to fully understand the situation and to find the way to resolve them and if we were capable of doing so, not finding out the ways and risks of resolving ourselves.
To take on everyday tasks and risks as our own responsibility can be a simple act of learning how to use a knife and fork, some children still have biscuits and milk (from a bottle at the age of 6) this child will probably like it and it is easier for the mother, this attitude will only create negative consequences in the future. If you allow the child to act as if they are still babies they will not mature at a normal rate.
If we allow our children to think in a moderate way, this will avoid low self-esteem and strengthen their inner strength.
Children need the fundamental pillars of strength in there lives, if a child asks for things, crying, and having a tantrum to get what they want……we should ignore them. If we give in to this kind of behavior and their way of achieving attention we are showing them to obtain things without any work on there part. If they are incapable of doing their homework alone…..from being young, you need to take up a routine and give them the responsibility of there own, this way we are showing them to continually work and they will assume there objects with responsibility.
A child must have order in there lives, a timetable and routine give them security. If a child is quiet and takes on their responsibilities they should be told how good they are, this will always strengthen their good behavior and they will feel proud of themselves. When they have problems at school, they should be allowed to try and resolve it themselves, we can give our opinion, but if we rush to sort things out immediately, we are taking their autonomy away and the possibility to resolve things.
A child that is spoilt all the time will be a very unsatisfied adult, that will not be able to even sort out small frustrations in life. They will always give up on anything and feel defenseless.
To help them form inner strength it is necessary to have discipline, routine and have security when they come out of a difficult situation, they will be stronger and more understanding, when we when correct a child, do so with respect and love, this is the basics of maturity for them.
Children will behave good or bad, depending on if you give them attention or not, if they scream and shout and have tantrums, children know the power of there tantrums and parents should show them how to ask for things in a good way and they should be taught to accept negative results, to help a child who behaves in this way, is not to give in to there every whim or promise you will buy something for them if they behave, it should not be a material thing, you should replace this with, “if you study well or behave and are responsible, we will be very proud of you” this way you are showing a child to be responsible for themselves, and not for the benefit of a material reward, they will start to understand personal satisfaction. Educating children is one of the most difficult jobs you will ever hold, children do not come with a manual and step by step instructions, however, they are part of you, and represent you in everything they do and it is down to you on how that representation goes, you are there mirror and they will tend to do what you do, never underestimate the mind of a child, they know how to push your buttons and will do so at any given opportunity, but, if you show these little individuals who we all love dearly, that there are limitations, rules, and regulations, routines, and obligations that have to be followed, you are giving them a wonderful opportunity to be loving responsible and understanding adults. Who you will be proud of them and your input.
Brooke Smitham Universal Life Coach