If you’re in love or are totally attached to someone, you feel bad,but just can’t leave the person and relationship, you could find that you are totally dependent emotionally and are not sure how to find yourself again…..When we realise that we are in a bad relationship, we tend to blame ourselves, even without knowing we are doing this, are self-confidence takes a dive,we feel that everything we do is inadequate, and we just don’t feel that we are at the same level as our partner, and you feel sure you are going to be left for someone new.
You may also go through the stage of doing everything in your power to improve, change everything in your life, you may even lose sight of your friends and family just to please this person. You may even change the way you dress and speak, thinking that this is how your partner wants to see you, but what is really happening is you as a person, just start to disappear, falling into a bigger and bigger hole of anxiety and despair, you will forget who you are,where you came from and where you are going.You will have moments when you see the situation very clear and no that you should be out of this relationship, but then fear will overcome you and you become totally stuck within this relationship.
This is when we see emotional dependence at it’s greatest we are totally incapable to do , what we know we have to do, in these cases it is absolutely necessary that we react and act. When you know that your partner is not in love with you, people in love do not treat their partners in this way, when you have no or very little contact with your friends and family,when you go along with things that you really do not want to do,when you let go your happiness on a permanent basis and obviously if there is physical or psychological abuse.When you see these signs it is time to leave and not look back, you cannot leave this any longer, you can not allow manipulation anymore or justify these actions, the longer you leave it, the harder it is to get out.
A relationship with dependence is feeling that you need the other, that you want to change them,you feel panic, incapable to leave the relationship, even when we know it is not working, never make plans until you know the plans of the other, thinking that if we were left, life will be unbearable.
A healthy relationship would be full of admiration for the other person, respect, total acceptance, fluid communication and confidence within ourselves. And most important you will feel calm, confident and HAPPY…..
Your happiness is in your hands, not in the hands of another, you can free yourself and live the life you really want or you can suffer….. Is that really the life you want ? I would choose happiness, when you are happy, everyone around you is happy and you deserve the life you have always held a vision for yourself.
Universal Life Coach