When we try to define exactly what we want, we can become very confused,with so many things coming into our heads at the same time, it is at these times that we may become irrational,this is not good, when we have irrational ideas they tend to win the battle,and even the most sensible and positive of these irrational ideas will send us into a painful spiral,one of the most painful irrational ideas we have is to have the need to be approved by all, our friends,family and generally the people around us,it is very common to have these thoughts,but they really do work against us,we all really know that it is impossible that the whole world approves and agrees with us,but,when are parents,friends,partners don’t approve our actions and thoughts we do not accept it, why? On the rational side, we may think, I like that everyone loves me,and agrees with me,but, I don’t need it, the difference is on the need, we know that some will and some will not, however if we learn to accept this fact,and understand that nothing is wrong with us, people are different in the way they are and there thoughts, that is why we are all individuales it does not mean that they do not love or care for us,there is nothing wrong with a difference of opinion and the world is not going to end.We are first, this is not a selfish view point,we have to be the first on the list, if we are fine with ourselves then we can be fine with everyone around us,if we renounce ourselves,we will not be giving the best we have to offer.
The irrational thought should be ” I like to be liked,by the people I love and care for,but i do not need to be,it is not neccessary” I do need air to breath,…………. if my parents and friends do not approve of my actions,it’s okay, I would like them to have approved, I need to do what I feel is right,what is important for me,without looking at everything a thousand times at what others will think, if you are not true to yourself, you will feel anxiety and a great deal of stress.
Remember that people will always give us advice, especially the people who love and care for us, sometimes they can even put a totally different light on things, so listen and think, the solution or advice they give may suit you better, the importance of being rational is that you finally choose what you want
To define what you want, you have to know exactly what that is, you may need to make various lists before you have your priorities in the order you would like, you must then activate your desire, visualise your goal with vivid precision,this can also take time, but practise will make perfect, then create your plan and take action,adjust and connect with others that hold similar goals,you need to surround yourself with positive people, these people will understand how you think and why you think this way, to be around negative people at this moment will only slow your process down.You can do and create what ever you want,if you believe in yourself you will achieve your goals.
Brooke Universal Life Coach