What do you need ? do you ever stop to think about what you need and want in your life, or do you let life pass you by, thinking about what everybody else needs, do you realise that your needs are as important as the people you give every need to. In general through our lives we start by wanting to please our parents first, they have a NEED to hear you say your first word and then to take your first step, first tooth etc, you are not aware at this stage that you are pleasing them and them you by showing how excited they get when those first experiences are displayed, then we go into school and we wish to achieve the same reaction from our teachers and parents, in fact that stays with us all through our educational years, then we go out into the world and have similar experiences in our work place, we strive to please.
Then we start interacting with people, our friends, even our parents friends and again we strive to please,when we reach the stage of personal relationships we are experts at pleasing, if you remember your first date you probably said “no, whatever you want to do, where ever you want to go” most couples say these phrases more than ever at the beginning of their relationships, always wanting to please the other, this stays with us throughout life, some, because they always want to please others, and others who do it, to have a quiet peaceful life .Then we start a family and we want to please our children, and the whole cycle sets in again, so….. when do we tend to our own needs, you do not have to wait for others to tend to your needs as they may never do what you need, they can only do what they think you need………..the rest is up to you.
So if you are not the kind of person that can express exactly what you need,you will need to learn how to care for yourself, your needs are very important, they can be the smallest or the biggest of needs but they need to be addressed by YOU… many people struggle with time, they need personal time, this can be found if you are organised and stick to your routine, when you go to work, you go on time, when you go to take a train you go on time,school has a time even social events have a time, so you need to have time, it is a question of choosing the time you want and when, and treat it with the same importance as everything else, and respect it, you are respecting yourself, this maybe time for you to read, relax maybe even work,do your hair,nails a little spa time, if it is important to you that is all that matters,it’s a need….. that you want, I even know a couple who lead very busy lives, children and responsibility,they have a second little home in the country where they used for family weekends, because they both felt that their need was quality time together, once every two weeks, they would leave home in the morning and go to their respective workplace,but would meet later at their country place,this time was treated like any other work appointment and was never given up, no matter what, it was a commitment that they made and they kept to the schedule. This is the secret to finding time for your needs, no matter what they may be, when you set your times and days,you must treat it as an obligation like any other. The respect you give to others and the obligations you need, to give yourself that respect, you deserve it and can have it.
Brooke Universal Life Coach