IS IT A RIGHT OR A HABIT
We all complain, at one time, and it doe’s not matter which country you are from, some countries think it is a National Habit !! and that we have the right…..A complaint can be a form of expression for pain which can be beneficial. However when complaining becomes a part of every part of our life, then it can become a habit, a bad habit. So why, at times complaining can be a way to hide our head in the sand, instead of confronting the problem at hand that is worrying us, complaining stops us from taking action and seeing what is wrong.
So, take the bull by the horns, as they say, deal with the problem and this will do away with the complaining.
IF YOU COMPLAIN – ACT
The people who tend to complain on a constant level, will be less likely to know what they are doing, they will not see it, however, the person that doe’s not complain by nature, could be helping the one that does, by not saying anything. It is time to be brave, and step up and realise that we are fueling the complaintive, and say something. If you are someone who complains all the time and do realise what you do, you will hopefully see or be told that blaming others, is simply not taking responsibility of the circumstances of what is happening, and they continue to complain. When they realise or are shown this, it is the first step to overcome this habit and to make changes and to act regarding the resolution of the problem at hand.
TIPS TO PUT THIS RIGHT
A simple way is to slowly change your thoughts on your complaint is to add, “maybe not so much” Most complaining people will complain about their partner, for example, when they say, “He doe’s not love me as much as I do ” if they add, well maybe not so much, it is a start to them seeing things in a slightly different light, this will give this person a way to deactivate and come out of a 100% negative thought. It’s a slow method but can bring results.
ASK AND ACCEPT WHAT IT IS
Another way to change this thought pattern is to work with the thought of change……This work consists of four questions, “Is it the truth?” “Do you know it is the truth with 100% certainty ?” How do you react when this happens,what do you think of these thoughts, “Who would you be without this thought ?” “Who or what are you without these thoughts ?” So if you do this not only in thought but applied to the complaint , which in reality are also thoughts we would realise the importance of responsibility and the situation.
LOOK INTO THE EMOTION
You can also work with the emotions, how they react with our thoughts “What type of emotion do you feel when you go into complaining mode ?”what images do you see from your past or your future and what physical sensation do you have when complaining. “Do you have obsession or addiction when you start to complain” All the answers to these questions if we answer honestly can help us to see the damage we do to ourselves while complaining on a permanent basis.
TAKE THE RESPONSIBILITY
How do you see this, some people prefer to carry on complaining instead of changing anything. Are you one of these ? When we don’t take responsibility for what is going on, we stay stuck ! and not being able to control our life, giving power to those around us. It is better to be brave and take responsibility of what we can change and reject the idea that we do nothing. When we complain constantly we use an incredible amount of energy , we become tired and trapped in a vicious circle, without any hope of getting out. It takes us to an emotional state of unhappiness and sadness which stops us from taking action. So unless you wish to pay this price, it is always better to take the road of changing, and start to take action.
Brooke Universal Life Coach