How do you really feel when finally you know you have left your baggage in a safe place and don’t have to watch over it any longer, you have accepted what is within, and you have made peace, whether this is with yourself or with others.
Your feeling of liberation is unbelievable in every sense, you can really feel the weight that has been lifted from your shoulders and you are happy to carry on in your life on your terms and not on the terms of other, so what is it that makes us hold on to that baggage for so long…….is it due to our emotions, desperation, trust, love even loyalty, and at times, it can even be due to unawareness of what is going on, it is so normal to some of us, we do not even feel the baggage we are carrying, we can carry this baggage in a physical sense, a mental state, within our hearts and within our soul, it can manifest in many ways, depression, anxiety, illness, some of you will close yourself off from the world and try to forget whatever is hidden within your baggage.
When we speak of baggage, most of us will associate it to a new relationship where two existing families come together, making a new family, we refer to this as baggage, as it is what we bring with us into a future new relationship, now this may seem simple to explain,but in practice it can become very difficult, even when all parties are willing, especially if small or smaller children are involved, most of them will be experts in the art of emotional blackmail, as they may have already been using this art with separated parents and close families on both sides which can be overlooked, simply because it does not cross your mind…….the thought of our little darlings, …………no, the idea does not fit too well into our way of thinking? However it happens, and we do live through these scenes day after day, and in many cases it can grind your new exciting relationship to a halt, it is more than necessary to establish the rules of the new household, first this must be established quite clearly between the new principal players, that being the adults involved in the new relationship, if you are not both participating with the same set of rules, a disaster will not be too long in involving. It is so difficult for us to see wrong within our own children, but, can be very easy to see in others, it is crucial that both parties can be fair and clear-headed when resolving new family issues and not hold favoritism between the new family members, a period of testing will nearly always take place, but, when having the same rules for all sides and sticking to that, consistency will always be the key………and will give you the result required.
Another type of baggage, can be the kind we keep within, we hold on to memories that at times can be made up from traumas that we have lived previously in our family unit, we carry them with us, from one relationship to another and they can weigh heavy on our mind and heart, and do, indirectly interfere with our new relationship, we cannot and do not have interior peace, this lived drama stays with us like a hanging shadow. We need to accept the realization of this drama and put it, in a memory box where you are happy for it to be stored, this imaginary box can be visited whenever you wish, but it is not floating permanently through your mind and heart, tormenting you and leaving you unsettled and unable to move forward with an open mind.