All parents wish to transmit confidence in their children, and to give them as many resources as possible to be able to manage situations in life as they come along. The words we offer them, are the resources that will have most effect on them, they will keep them with them and use them during their life time many times, we say them as we feel at the time and this is how they use them, what we expect from them and how their confidence grows and their possibilities etc.,
A lot of these ideas, and the majority unconsciously have a lot to do with ourselves and what we manage to pass on to them. It is important that we think about what we say to them and the way we explain different situations and things in life in general. Everything we do and say is what goes to forming them into young adults, in the way they will talk and interact with others for most of their life time, some of these things will be positive and others negative. Meaning they will gain confidence from things we say, but other words and actions can take their confidence away, sadly many things that we hear, learn or see as children sy with forever.
Other things we can do is always listen to them when they speak, when you do this action, you are showing that you are interested in what they have to say and in turn they will listen to people, words are never worthless , they have great value, and can have a great influence on our children. The tone of your voice is also important, this can also build confidence or take it away, and this will show in their personality.
We should never think that children don’t understand what we have said, simply because they do not do what we would like them to do, at times it can be the way we have explained what we wish them to do. also we should not refer to the way that they look, to give a child a complex is the same as taking their confidence away, even if it is a compliment , usually after the age of 10, a child is more concerned in hearing things from outside the family unit and more from the outer world, it is also wise after a certain age, to listen to what they have to say regarding certain subjects, if you always think and speak for the child they will always have difficulties in speaking up for themselves or expressing their point of view.
When a child is talked to about being loved and expressing affection, most people will find that they will also do this as adults, therefore they will be able to express their inner emotions, and will not hold this as a tabu subject, when a child as an adult can express freely how they feel regarding love and emotions for another can only bring them happiness in their relationships with other and of course their own children in time.
Brooke Universal Life Coach