Are you a stressed mother ?, Do you lose your patience quickly ?, Are you on the limit and feel guilty over everything ?…………You first have to realise that you are not perfect (and do not have to be) and your children are not either, here a few little bits of advice on trying to educate without stress and not to let anxiety take over…………..
Life does not have to be so complicated, so why at times educating children can be a real nightmare. We try to educate with love and care within the limits we like to apply,
We should not allow that success at school becomes an obsession, both you and the child will feel pressure and an emotional over load, focus should not be given only to the bad notes they may receive, focus on the good ones, this will help their self-esteem much more, and keep them more on the road to their personal success. When you only concentrate on the negative you will eventually just emotionally drown them.
You need to place realistic goals that fit well with their age and personality , most teenagers only have an attention barrier of 45 mins, and if they are between 8 & 12 maybe no more than 30 mins, once passed this time their interest and concentration drops, go more for quality time because this is the time that will pay of and they can stand to win a lot.
The strength and determination are key, and this has the same importance in games, sports and general education, their happiness lies in how hard it is for them to be on top of all this, once they reach this life becomes easier for them.
Not all children are the same, and for that reason they all learn at different rates , some have great visual memories and others audiative, if they are in the first group reading will be a great thing for them, if they belong in the second group they will listen eagerly in class and will repeat, their strong points will override their weaker ones.
The importance of keeping your word, if you threaten to impose something for bad behaviour , is very important. Maintain your position although it may hurt you more than them, it is an important part of their maturity is to know you will maintain your word,don’t threaten the impossible here, you have to make sure that what you threaten is possible and do it. You know more than anyone what should be denied and what will have most effect on the children.
The ability to negotiate with a diplomatic flare will get you out of many situations with children, A reward will always create motivation which goes with responsibility , it is a good way to introduce them into household jobs.
It is always a good idea to relax the rules and regulations during the week-end and holidays, it is something that usually is always appreciated by everyone.
Dont ever let your differences enter into your bedroom, this is your space, each family member should have their own space.
Try to keep your children away from internet, this is a difficult one,it is a little like them being let loose in a big city , they need your help, although they will not realise this, try to accompany them when they are on the net.
If your child seems bored or plays alone, dont be to concerned when they play alone it can be a great help for their imagination and well-being.
Dont always think that they are “cracks” at everything, sports, a foreign language theater piano etc., it can be too much for them, they also need to rest and know how to administrate their time, most experts will advise you that time spent with parents is time well spent and not always in extra classes.
If you are a great reader and would like your child to also love reading, do not be upset when they mix the classics with comics and magazines. Just keep some time for them for reading and comment on what you have read, even the newspaper.
Children are known for what they see is what they do and learn, you know the saying ” go by example” if they see you happy with a book, or at a concert etc., they will probably what to do the same. This does not mean that every time you go out you have to be a travel guide or take excursions, there is time for everything.
It is good for children to be given their independence slowly and let them get to know what freedom is, this way as they get older, they will make the moving process a gentle pathway, and will not run at the first given opportunity.
Never question or answer for them as they grow, wait with patience for them to offer that question or answer, let them know you are open to discuss things with them, that there is no tabu subject, that you are there for them, regardless of the subject.
Brooke Universal Life Coach