August, particularly here in Europe can be the great month of holidays, and maybe the most time you have spent with your loved one in quite a while, so for many of you, I wish you luck, no seriously on a better note, it is important that you all remember that life at times can get in the way of a lovely loving relationship, life has its ups and downs and work stress can get in the way, so is your cupid still working for you ? is your relationship still ticking along just as you would want it to, there are basically seven keys to keep love in good shape, just keep it activated and those muscles working, every last one of them,
Complicity, be thankful for this as it duplicates the capacity of facing difficulties……it is so important that the person you share your life with our your biggest complices in life, if not you really need to rethink your situation. Complicity implicates true confidence one for the other, which is an essential base for the relationship to last, it is also what gives strength when handling difficult situations , you know the saying togetherness gives strength.
Five little keys to keep this activated is………..
Try to do activities together, you may not be used to doing this, so just start with small things, a hobby, this is always best before taking on bigger projects. Always try to respect and give support to your partner when in the company of others, even though you may not feel that way, you can split the differences when you are at home and hold a private conversation on this. never discuss differences in front of your family or friends, you will not always be of the same way of thinking, it is always best for both of you to reach an agreement together and in private.
Humour, to smile and to laugh is not compatible with being angry, frustrated and having fear, one of the great advantages of smiling and laughing, to be happy in general is that we generate endorphins which is a very natural way to feel good and enjoy yourself. This helps the relationship to be healthy and again lasting. This does not apply to you being a clown 24/7 it just means you have a general good disposition, you are yourself and don’t take yourself so seriously all the time, humour is something that helps us relax and does away with tension after a long hard day, it is very important that in a relationship you do not fall into the trap of taking out your daily frustrations on your partner, happy faces happy times, obviously you can discuss your distinct day and problems but always remember it is not the fault of your partner.
Learn to laugh at your mistakes and errors, this will always project a positive attitude to your partner. If you’re not happy about something, you can always express yourself with a smile, it is not necessary to always be angry over something, when someone is angry it can be interpretrated as an attack, and the other partner may respond defending themselves and with the same anger, this is not a good way to successful dialogue. Humour is also a great way to keep monotony away from a relationship, a little surprise can always be given by little notes left in a jacket or on a serviette, being together and doing fun things as a couple, a good partnership , try to return home with a smile and caring nature.
Your own space is also important, this is not a contradiction from the above, doing things together is one thing, but always remember that we are all different with our own likes and dislikes and it is important that we always remain who we are, are true essence. To be dependent is a fundamental word, how many people do you know that live as clones of their partner, that abandon everything friends, family and hobbies all for the other person. When you maintain your own friends hobbies , you generate a world of your own that helps you to be your own person within the relationship. Create a space for yourself, cultivate your interests and take care of your family and friends, this will give you strength and the ability to make decisions, by doing this you will always feel that your partner is in your life, but is not your life! Do activities that you enjoy, it does not matter the result it is the point of enjoyment. Always look to nature, take a nice walk, it helps you to place things in your mind and recharge those batteries. Care for yourself, when you connect with your inside, your relationship becomes more sure and kind., and never forget when you are independent you have balance .
Sex, can be an important part of your relationship, there are things that can be expressed and shares from and with desire. There are times when our emotional communication can not be said with words or actions, at times there are things that are better expressed through body contact. You should always consider the sexual needs of the other person without judgement, and reach an agreement, which is satisfactory to both parties, it is important that there is a flow and that no blocks are found within the couple, as they will be felt if you don’t deal with your differences. always try to incorporate hugs and touch into your regular relationship, Everything between two people is respect one for the other , to trust and to be loved.
Support, is all part of the partnership, part of respect and not to feel any obligations or judgement, It is necessary in a relationship that each one can rely on the other, that support is always available, to obtain this you must be attentive and see what is needed, always be open and explain the problem at hand…….. look for agreements that you both feel are good for practical problems, never use emotional blackmail, this is a lack of respect , value your partner in good times and bad, do not let jealousy enter into your relationship, the person you feel jealous over, will not suffer it is you, that will suffer most,jealousy is a very destructive thing and will ruin your relationship.
Brooke Universal Life Coach