So, why are we so afraid of writing a new chapter in our life, it should and can be an exciting time for us, but sadly we are attached to our past and allow that to spoil the new magic we are about to create, it is normal don’t worry about that, but if you knew a few things to help you on your way, would you feel any better, how good are you at talking to yourself, because that is the secret to a new chapter, when you are coming from maybe a breakup of a long relationship, or it could even be a new beginning in a new place or country. We implant the fear all by ourselves, although you may feel very independent, you will doubt yourself about being alone, you will consider your age and many more factors, but if you have a relationship that is not right, note I do not say bad, as many of us do not come or have a bad relationship, but, we are perfectly aware that something is not right…..this will not get better with time, it can only deteriorate even more, so don’t fool yourself on that one, just to avoid the obvious, if you were walking along the pathway and knew you were going to fall, would you continue to walk that path ? ………….the big question we have to ask ourselves regarding a relationship that you may want to end, or even by mutual consent is…do you distinguish what is a habit, when you have been with each other for a while, things will have a certain flow, your home and social life, you will in fact probably take each other for granted, you become comfortable and this can create this situation, you should be comfortable with your life partner but not in this sense, we become so used to the other person being present that the habit is formed, this is not ever lasting love, we worry about later being alone and maybe feeling lonely and sad, but if your relationship is not right, you are already lonely and sad at times. When you break free of your relationship you will normally feel instant freedom, which comes in the feeling of a great weight of your shoulders, you learn how to breathe again, taking in great gulps of air, you can now fly and you know…..there will be days when you feel less happy with yourself and doubt if you have made the wrong decision, children can also be a big pull in a relationship, but children are by far much more intelligent than we give them credit for, many know about the break up before you, they sense things and this is not a good atmosphere for them, although it is sad when children are involved, they are in fact much better in every way with two stable parents in different homes than one unstable household. And both parents should take responsibility for this and behave in the correct manner, there is no need for parents to argue in front of children, they did not ask for this situation and should not be put through this, they should also never be used to blackmail one or the other of the relationship.
The moment you break those chains that hold you into a situation you no longer wish to be part of, you will become another person, you may become the person you used to be, it all depends on the reasons regarding your separation. But, you will have days when you become weak and think you should return, that you have made a terrible mistake …………in my experience I would advise you to stand your ground, those days will pass, there are very few relationships that are successful the second time around, I would not say impossible but very rare, if you look at it this way, you would have to go through this all over again, and many would not be able to, so your future could be very sad and lonely. Also it is only human (I suppose) that some people cannot forgive and forget, which would create a situation every time you had problems with your partner, the situation of the break up would be re-lived at every possible moment, and an emotional blackmail would be in full swing, this is a circumstance you are best to avoid.
Your world can be rocked by a break up, but you are the only person who owns your world, nobody else, and you should never forget that, if we live through this situation, it is meant to be, it is a lesson that we should learn from, as new wonderful lessons are in store for us, do not worry about your age,the older more mature person has as much right to a new life as a young person, we never know what the future holds, but the more positive and confident we are, the better it will be, the past does not hold that, only the future, the past is the past, good bad or indifferent, all parts of our life are made up of good and bad things, so let the past go and look forward, always forward and be happy, you can be as happy alone as in company you do not want. Never fear what is to come, as you have no idea what you are being afraid of !!
Brooke Universal Life Coach