So who fits the image of the Peter Pan Syndrome, this would normally be a person who wishes to renounce losing his childhood as to not become an adult, Fun and very sure of themselves, hidden well inside of them is the fear and the insecurities of growing up, to becoming an adult in the true sense of the word, They avoid having to make promises and decisions as they have no desire to leave “Neverland” a symbol of eternal youth, The author of Peter Pan James M Barrie created and placed all the great fears in him, that belong to the man of today.
When men do, not wish to grow into an adult……………………..
We have all wanted to be Peter Pan at some time in our life, No growth is no change , no suffering the impossible dream which the famous children’s story recites to us. Unless of course you are Peter Pan. The actual story of Peter Pan or should I say James M Barrie, was in fact very sad, he older brother was tragically killed in an accident, which left his mother in a very sad state, to help her, he would dress in his brothers clothes and whistle how he did. and to try to bring comfort to him and her, and as time went on, he became obsessed with this and realised he was growing into a young adult, this is how he came to write Peter Pan, an amazing story, sad but very true………..when he was young he felt very protected but as it is today, many men wish to hide from responsibility and adult obligation, this where the saying Peter Pan Syndrome comes from.
This is the fear of maturity, the first time this syndrome using the name Peter Pan was in 1966, when a psychiatrist refered to the small child that all adults have inside, which concentrates in satisfying all their demands and necessities, Nearly 20 years later in 1983, the first book was published regarding the peter pan syndrome, and it is used today regarding people you have the problem of eluding maturity, responsibility decision-making and do not wish to grow from a child into an adult or parent.
At times no maturity can come from a time of suffering and responsibilities and not a playful and pleasant time. Which could cause this syndrome.
So, where does Wendy fit into this modern-day story, well Wendy is the typical young lady who takes it upon herself to play the role of a Mother, she is possessive, but unable to control her own life, but makes a tremendous effort to control the life of their partner as a maternal figure. It is a form to not show their fear of being alone. They are blind to the evidence, they know that they are living a totally unbalanced relationship, but are so afraid of being pushed away and they have a high drive to please, they will always find an argument to hide this, “He is so busy, it is not that he only thinks of himself ” there will always be a reason that satisfies the Wendi’s of this world. They have to feel irreplaceable, which is why they do everything for this kind of partner, this way they also take on all the responsibilities, with the couples unit, they also avoid conflict even though they feel from time to time that they are abused of their good faith, Wendy will never do anything to change this and therefore avoids conflict.
What is maturity, the word means, when a person has reached their maximum potential in capabilities and intellect, and is ready and prepared to take action within their life, meaning they can take an adult decision in a normal way, if we refuse to become mature in any way, it is like fruit going from green to rotting !!So, how do we get there, a good way is to do a total spring clean within your internal wardrobe, the first thing you need to do is, to look at the three basic aspects of your relationship, that being your auto concept, auto image, and auto self-confidence, are they still valid to you ? and viable for the rest of your life together, you have to learn to live without so much nostalgia.
Brooke Universal Life Coach