We all need help at some time in our life, sometimes it can be serious help and other times support help, when we just need to know that someone is there, with a helping hand, a shoulder to lean on………..someone to listen.
Most of us are bad listeners, not because we don’t want to be, we are just so filled with our own concerns, we don’t hear anything else, this does not make us bad people, our heart and intention is maybe in the right place, but, we are just no good for this job.
In my experience, it is not what people say, it is what they don’t say, or when they slip something in, quickly after a big impacting phrase, they have said it, but they are not sure if they want you to hear it, however I have to say, this is not your fault, you must have experience in these situations to pick these things up, and you also have to refrain from bringing your emotions in, if it is your friend and their problem envolves another person, you are going to side with them, this is also normal,but, can result in you maybe giving bad advise, and you could lose a friend, again without intention,unless you have bad feelings with this person you will only want the best for them. When a friend approaches you and has the need to talk, if you feel that you cannot listen in the correct manner then take yourself out of the equation, try to steer clear, of course depending on the depth of the problem, at times just talking about it, can give great relieve to the person off loading. Just be careful with the advice, especially if it is to do with a relationship, they patch things up really quick, and you could end up being the baddy ! I’m sure we have all experienced that one.
What this post is really about is ourselves, why do we find it so hard to reach out for help, support, a little assistance, at times in can be pride, you don’t want others to know you have problems in your life of any kind, you don’t think you are worthy of friendship and help, or maybe you don’t want people to think you are weak and can handle things yourself, all these reasons are wrong, you may feel them but all you are doing is making your problems into two problems, the concerning problem and the concern that nobody finds out about it, does it sound familiar ? We all no matter who or what we do, faces problems of some kind, we are all worthy of resolving them and we are no less for sharing them with a person of our confidence, obviously we don’t want it in the local paper !! so choose well, but the simple fact that you let it out, will give you release and your tension/anxiety will come down a little. Another important point to remember is that all problems have a solution, and there is no need to be isolated from the world due to this. It is good to know someone is in your corner helping you out, however bad you may feel the sooner it is out in the open the sooner it can be resolved. Never worry about asking for help or support, if you wish to go forward in your life, you need to deal with issues as they appear, putting things on the back burner only makes them bigger and more complicated to resolve. Obviously you can seek professional help, which would guide you to the correct solution.