Are we creating children that are converting themselves in what we know as little ( I & I ) egoists! From a very young age we must work with them on their empathy and show them how to tolerate their frustrations. Only by doing this we can avoid them always thinking of themselves.
A favourite saying of many mothers is, “Put yourself in my place” We become embarrassed by our children not wanting to share or continually interrupting us when we are talking to someone else, However we are not aware of the damage we do within our own homes, with the family and how we educate them. No matter how tired we are, we are not capable of telling them that we cannot read to them that evening or that you can’t take them a toy because your back or neck pain is so bad.
It is important that parents show the children their own necessities, desires and motivation. If we don’t give our children the opportunity to put themselves in our place, they never will, and later when they demand and become egocentric , we will be surprised and feel let down.
We can be generous but with limits, a child when born is an egoist and egocentric , because they need to be as a baby, as we need to care for them. As they start to grow, our interests and emotions start to change and we want them to be more part of the family group, and for that to happen they have to start accepting social little rules. For a child to learn this and to share in with his family they need to feel motivated and a relationship with others. It may seem normal that your child will not share with another child a toy in the park as they do not know them, however they should be encouraged and taught to lend and share, in this case their toys. If we start to show them how to share and lend at home, with the people they have a relationship with it will be more easier for them to share outside the home.
Frustrations can be healthy for a child, It is important that parents have it very clear, that the children cannot have their own way always, this way we help them to work out their frustrations and come to turns with their mistakes. Parents who give in to every request, who constantly adapt to what they want, without putting any rules, will eventually be creating a spoilt and egocentric child. This is why parents must learn to tolerate that our children cry, show their distaste or boredom and should not react.
The only child, you cannot generalise with this, however the parents have to be stronger in reinforcing empathy and the frustration more. An only child does not have to share at home, does not have to wait to be listened to, which means they obtain their wishes easier. They have no competition and have more time and dedication from their parents, who people believe to be less tired and have more patience, (This is not always the case) However there are parents who have various children and still consent to every whim, and parents with one child who show their children and teach them to put themselves in someone else’s situation.